The title of this entry is pretty flippant compared to the literal happening of the losing of the shit. My daughter wanted to watch TV, or TI, as she calls it. She never watches TV but we do have videos that we put in once in awhile and rather than explain the difference we just call it TV. Since she has been sick the past THREE DAYS she has been watching more TI than usual. Today I decided it was time to cut it off and thence began the losing of the shit. She cried for at least a half hour. First I tried to reason with her, then I tried to be firm, then I tried to distract, then I tried to walk away. After I walked away the losing of the shit increased ten fold and she started screaming MAMA! When that didn't work she tried my name, AUDREY!, which is so stinkin cute. So I walked in again and tried various other bargaining and negotiation. I picked her up to walk away from the looming TI but she just screamed OTHER ROOM! Eventually I set her down again and went to run her bath. Suddenly she got very quiet and started saying milk? milk? So I walked into the kitchen and said, "Do you want some milk?" and she said, "Yes." And I said, "Will you calm down?" And she said, "Yes," and wiped her face. So I said, just to push my luck, "No TV Ok?" And she said, "Ok."
WHAT THE FUCK.
I dont understand kids. I would write more but my brain is still spinning from the screaming and the crying and more screaming.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Fools Day
I forgot it was April Fools Day. So when I walked in my bedroom to find my husband sprawled out on the floor, naturally I said, "What the hell are you doing?" He said, "Nothing." I said, "Did you fall off the bed?" He said, "Yes." I said, "No you didnt." He stopped talking.
Later, after my husband had left to do work at a coffee shop I got an email from him:
you know how i have that google thing that searches our names? Random stuff comes and I have been getting a lot of past melaleuca stuff. But look at this one that came today. It was only a clip but I was able to find a partial scan of it on mlive.com. Did you know about this or was it a joke mallory played and you didn't tell me? What the heck? See the attached....
This was the attached:
Mallory is my best friend and this "article" would've come out two years ago, after my daughter was born. At first I was confused, but I figured this was something my husband had somehow schemed. He denied it at first:
Me - WHAT?? did you do this?? seriously frank. you did this. i know it.
Him - dude. stop it. you have to know about this. are you messing with me?
but if you really are serious, call mallory now. She has got to know. if not, this is fucked up.
Me - i think YOU are messing with ME
Him - i got it in my e-mail under the usual google web search thing. where did you search for it? it took me a while to find it. you sound serious so i think you should call mallory.
Finally, he admitted it.
Him - happy april fools day
Later he explained that falling on the floor was his first attempt at an April Fools day prank, but it didnt work out like he'd hopped it would. Apparently he told our daughter to go get me. She came and told my several times "papa fall" but I wasnt listening. Then she went back in to the room and proceeded to step on him. So there he was, passed out on the ground, our daughter stepping on him, and me on the computer. Poor guy.
Happy April Fools Day.
PS You cant read the article well, so here's what it says:
Traditionally, names for children were chosen on the basis of favored family members within the family's respected culture and when they did venture outside the culture, it was to use the name of a historical figure or biblical character. Time was spent on the name meaning and its impact on the child's life. The trend now is to pick a name randomly from an assortment of places. There is easy access to "baby name" books with thousands of names. Many parents simply choose on the basis of what sounds good or looks cool.
One parent who used this method is Audrey Mahlie who just had a girl in June out of wedlock. According to her friend Mallory, who we interviewed, Audrey chose the name randomly. Audrey reads many books and likes a certain liberal, French author, Colette. She looked up the name to find its meaning and saw next to it, the name Cosette. She liked the sound of it and had had made her decision.
Mallory told Tom Edgars, who interviewed her last week, that she initially disliked the name and thinks a better one could have been chosen, but she would never tell Audrey. The reason she dislikes the name is because it was chosen the name out of the blue, "It doesn't matter anymore what a name means and where it comes from," she told Tom. Mallory also says that many are "annoyed" when Audrey introduces Cosette because they cannot understand the name at first. When Mallory has been with Audrey as she is introduces Cosette, she is annoyed, too. "Its always the same. We have to sit there and repeat the name a few times and then explain where it came from and why Audrey picked it. I get embarrassed and really tired of it."
Unfortunately, Audrey is not alone in this new trend. And so many of us might have to go through the same problems Mallory does in the future.
If you have any similar stories, please write the press or email Tom Edgars at TEdgars@grp.com
Later, after my husband had left to do work at a coffee shop I got an email from him:
you know how i have that google thing that searches our names? Random stuff comes and I have been getting a lot of past melaleuca stuff. But look at this one that came today. It was only a clip but I was able to find a partial scan of it on mlive.com. Did you know about this or was it a joke mallory played and you didn't tell me? What the heck? See the attached....
This was the attached:
Mallory is my best friend and this "article" would've come out two years ago, after my daughter was born. At first I was confused, but I figured this was something my husband had somehow schemed. He denied it at first:
Me - WHAT?? did you do this?? seriously frank. you did this. i know it.
Him - dude. stop it. you have to know about this. are you messing with me?
but if you really are serious, call mallory now. She has got to know. if not, this is fucked up.
Me - i think YOU are messing with ME
Him - i got it in my e-mail under the usual google web search thing. where did you search for it? it took me a while to find it. you sound serious so i think you should call mallory.
Finally, he admitted it.
Him - happy april fools day
Later he explained that falling on the floor was his first attempt at an April Fools day prank, but it didnt work out like he'd hopped it would. Apparently he told our daughter to go get me. She came and told my several times "papa fall" but I wasnt listening. Then she went back in to the room and proceeded to step on him. So there he was, passed out on the ground, our daughter stepping on him, and me on the computer. Poor guy.
Happy April Fools Day.
PS You cant read the article well, so here's what it says:
Traditionally, names for children were chosen on the basis of favored family members within the family's respected culture and when they did venture outside the culture, it was to use the name of a historical figure or biblical character. Time was spent on the name meaning and its impact on the child's life. The trend now is to pick a name randomly from an assortment of places. There is easy access to "baby name" books with thousands of names. Many parents simply choose on the basis of what sounds good or looks cool.
One parent who used this method is Audrey Mahlie who just had a girl in June out of wedlock. According to her friend Mallory, who we interviewed, Audrey chose the name randomly. Audrey reads many books and likes a certain liberal, French author, Colette. She looked up the name to find its meaning and saw next to it, the name Cosette. She liked the sound of it and had had made her decision.
Mallory told Tom Edgars, who interviewed her last week, that she initially disliked the name and thinks a better one could have been chosen, but she would never tell Audrey. The reason she dislikes the name is because it was chosen the name out of the blue, "It doesn't matter anymore what a name means and where it comes from," she told Tom. Mallory also says that many are "annoyed" when Audrey introduces Cosette because they cannot understand the name at first. When Mallory has been with Audrey as she is introduces Cosette, she is annoyed, too. "Its always the same. We have to sit there and repeat the name a few times and then explain where it came from and why Audrey picked it. I get embarrassed and really tired of it."
Unfortunately, Audrey is not alone in this new trend. And so many of us might have to go through the same problems Mallory does in the future.
If you have any similar stories, please write the press or email Tom Edgars at TEdgars@grp.com
This is NOT for the faint of heart
Haunting site - photos of people in life and death. Do not click if you think will upset you.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/gallery/2008/mar/31/lifebeforedeath?picture=333325433
http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/gallery/2008/mar/31/lifebeforedeath?picture=333325433
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